I was reflecting on this after hearing a young mother in my mom’s group negatively talk about her parents. She wasn’t feeling supported with their 4 young children. I didn’t ask questions, but from what I gathered, her parents had moved away once their children were grown and were now serving on the mission field. My mom friend said, “I’m not going to do that to our kids.”

Obviously there is a lot that could be unpacked with this story and I don’t want you to read too much into it. But the conversation did cause me to consider this question:

“How do we as leaders encourage people to invest themselves in mission efforts that may take them away from their families, but also give them advice and suggestions for fulfilling the ministry they have to their own family?”

A practical question to ask people to consider is: “If you were living close to your adult children and grandchildren, what would be helpful to them?” And then, “How can you do those same things from a distance?”

Here are a few suggestions, but I know there are more:

1. Parents need help with daily chores, such as cooking meals. Obviously if you are living miles away, you can’t swing over with a home-cooked meal but you can send them $25 to use to order a pizza or takeout at one of their favorite places. Another way to help with this is that when you visit, bring or make a meal that they can put in their freezer and pull out on some busy night after you are gone.

2. Parents need help with babysitting. Consider utilizing skype, not only to stay connected, but even to give your son or daughter a break in the day. Could you read a book via skype to your young grandchild? Could you play 20 questions over skype or share some jokes or riddles? Maybe even play a version of Pictionary? No, it is not real babysitting. But it might give your adult child a 30 minute break to make dinner or clean the bathroom or even read the mail knowing that her child is being entertained and kept occupied. Not to mention the quality time and memories they are making with their grandparents!

3. Parents need to know you are thinking about them. A great way to do this is to send packages and cards in the mail…frequently! Make sure you send something to your adult children at times and not just the grandchildren. For Valentines’ Day my parents send a package for our kids, but also some money for Jon and I. We look forward to that and can use it for a babysitter and our own date night. We love it!

Your turn…how do we encourage people to invest in the lives of their children and grandchildren even from a distance?

How might we use the momentum of an all-church big event or service to help propel our ministries with older adults forward?

In my example, the church was doing a huge Christmas program called, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” which was going to feature Big Band music and drama set in the 1940s around the time of World War II. The program was presented 5 times with over 5,000 people attending. I was leading a brand new ministry with active adults and saw this as an opportunity to gather a crowd of people that I would have no chance for reaching otherwise. So, I piggybacked on one of the performances and planned a fun ‘after party’ for all those who were alive in the 1940’s.

I enlisted a team of leaders and we got busy several months before the event planning a party that would be filled with memorabilia, stories, photos, music, door prizes, areas for conversation, and refreshments. The event was a huge success – we sold out of tickets and the room was filled beyond capacity.

Making it Work

1. Older adults were already planning to come to this particular Christmas program with fantastic music and a great message. They were already going to be there for this, whether or not I had an after party or not. So, I had a captive audience.

2. It was clearly communicated on every bit of printed material that there was a special reception following one particular performance.

3. In addition to this clear communication, people were invited ONLY if they were alive in the 1940s. This helped people feel special and wanted and valued. They were being singled out in a good way.

4. I utilized lots of lay-leaders and volunteers who put their energy and creativity into planning the reception.

5. The names and contact information of people who attended was gathered so that I now had a list in which to begin to grow our older adult ministry.

6. We made sure the reception was done with excellence and that it exceeded people’s expectations so that any negative or wrong stereotypes about older adult ministry were dispelled.

Of course, you could do something like this with just about anything – it doesn’t have to be a church-wide Christmas program. For example, does your church already have a strong Sunday school system in place with several boomer-age classes? One church planned a special Sunday where all 5 of the boomer age classes were gathered together (a total of about 200 people) and invited me to be the guest speaker on that particular day. They used this to introduce the idea of a boomer ministry with their ultimate goal being to launch a church-wide boomer ministry.

Have you ever tried piggy-backing on something else at your church to help expose more people to your older adult ministry? What did you do? How did it work? How was it received?

The problem is, these attitudes prevent us from really connecting with one another and more importantly, they prevent us from looking beyond the surface and seeing the real person. The hardships. The struggles. The joys.

This video shared by the Texas Baptists clearly hits on some of the challenges that keep the generations from connecting. It would be a great clip to use to start a conversation in your church. Take a look and then share any feedback you have in the comments.

This should cause us to stop and consider a couple of things:

1. Millions of older adults are hurting. Some are lonely, some are grieving, others are searching for meaning and purpose in life and they are relying on a variety of things (some harmful) to fill up the emptiness in their lives. It is yet one more reason why we cannot ignore the importance of intentional and purposeful ministry with older adults. Ministry that leads people to Christ and disciples these individuals and helps them find areas to grow and serve. While social interaction and fellowship is an important component to helping these individuals, an older adult ministry must be built on more than simply a monthly social gathering. There have to be opportunities where we can truly respond to the deeper needs of people.

2. It is a stereotype that drinking is only a problem for the young. There are so many stereotypes about older adults that cause us to be ineffective at ministering to their real needs. Let’s not close our eyes to the issues and struggles that face those of all age groups.

Have any of you come across this issue among the older adults you serve? How are you responding?

It has been a blessing to our family to be reminded that everyone, regardless of age, matters to God and is worthy of having the opportunity to worship Him and receive Biblical teaching. I’ve been humbled as I’ve helped some weeks to pass out the communion elements and need to place the cup in a shaking hand and help it to a person’s mouth. Christ came and died for all of us.

Several weeks ago, Christianity Today had a great piece on ministry with our elders and I encourage you to read the article in its entirety, but here are a few rather poignant quotes that we all need to consider.

“85 percent of nursing home residents never receive personal one-on-one visits”, according to Bill Goodrich, executive director of God Cares Ministry in Avon Lake, Ohio.”

“The church, for the most part, has ignored ministry to the elderly because there are no visible results or improvement.”

“To some degree you can tell the health of a church based on how they treat the weakest people,” says Life Center pastor Dean Curry. “You communicate a lot by incorporating the elderly into services, loving them, and letting them make a contribution.”

Don’t miss what he is saying. We communicate something when we DO or DO NOT include older adults in our services. We can do this by having them read Scripture, share the announcements or tell about one of their favorite hymns and what it means to them.

“God has a real passion for elderly people,” Hubbard says. “I’ve been on overseas missions trips, but I’ve never experienced such satisfying feelings as these.”

Perhaps in the new year, you may want to consider ramping up how you serve those who are homebound or in long-term care facilities. If you want some ideas, the Texas Baptist Association recently did a month long emphasis on the elderly. You can find some resources here, including a podcast I did with them on this topic.

In the meantime, what does your church do to minister with this growing age demographic?

But, recently, I was quite encouraged to read a short piece that talked about the benefits of caregiving and it reminded me of earlier this year when I asked friends and readers of my blog and facebook page to share all the blessings — the good things— that come with being in the second half of life.

The primary caregiver of a loved one experiences a special closeness with that individual and it can be a very sweet bonding experience. The sharing of memories and talking about special moments is a wonderful blessing. And caregiving can actually help us to draw closer to God. But, I’d like to hear from you. It doesn’t matter if you cared for someone in their own home, in your home, or in a nursing home…it’s all caregiving.

So, for those of you who are caregivers, who have been caregivers, who have watched others provide care, or who just have some insight, what are the blessings and benefits that can be experienced when we care for an aging loved one?

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

It has been a busy fall with lots of wonderful ministry opportunities. I’ve crisscrossed the country a couple of times speaking with pastors and church leaders as well as older adults themselves and I’m encouraged that the conversation about older adult ministry and finishing well seems to be growing. But there is still much work to be done!

Let me share just a few encouraging highlights from my travels over the past 2 months:

1. I met a 90 year old woman who oversees the finances at her church. She is sharp as a tack and when I asked her if she had to learn the computer to continue doing her job, she said, “Yes! And that was no problem at all!” Once again, the myth that older adults can’t learn new things has been debunked!

2. It was great to partner with YES! (Young Enough to Serve) in their mission to engage older adults in meaningful service and see all the generations regularly interacting with one another. I loved speaking at their fundraising dinner and seeing an audience full of ALL AGES of people. People in attendance ranged in age from their early 20s to their 90s! This is how it should be! If you have not checked out their video called TED, you must do so. It communicates so well what I desire to have happen in churches across the country.

3. I’ve been encouraged that some lead pastors and executive pastors are responding to the swelling growth of our older adult population. These leaders are reading, strategizing and prioritizing this ministry. In the future, these churches will be some great models for us to learn from.

4. Finally, it is exciting to see all denominations from Lutheran to Southern Baptist to the International Pentecostal Holiness Church to the Church of the Nazarene to everything in between begin to dialogue about this important area of ministry. The discussion of unleashing baby boomers to make a Kingdom impact with their lives crosses denominational lines!

Thanks for praying for the ministry and for doing all that you do to encourage ministry with the new old. It’s no accident that God has allowed so many people to live into the later years of life at this precise moment in history. He’s up to something – - let’s be a part of it!

P.S. As always, I love to hear what is happening at your church and in your ministry context. Please share in the comments so we can learn from each other.

P.P.S. Be watching the blog next week for a post about the Benefits of Caregiving.

Notice how the boomers are depicted: Adventurous, Fun, Hip. Nothing like the stereotypes that say, “Older people don’t know how to have fun.” or “Older people stay home and go to bed early.”

Is your church creating ministries that appeal to the adventurous and fun attitude of today’s new old? What things are you doing to attract this age group to your church? What other adjectives would you use to describe this generation?

I am yours for all eternity. I am the Alpha and the Omega: the One who is and was and is to come. The world you inhabit is a place of constant changes- more than your mind can absorb without going into shock. Even the body you inhabit is changing relentlessly, in spite of modern science’s attempts to prolong youth and life indefinitely. I, however, am the same yesterday and today and forever.

Because I never change, your relationship with Me provides a rock-solid foundation for your life. I will never leave your side. When you move on from this life to the next, My Presence beside you will shine brighter with each step. You have nothing to fear, because I am with you for all time and throughout eternity.

Revelation 1:8; Hebrews 13:8; Psalm 102:25-27; Psalm 48:14

Any thoughts on how to provide ministry and encouragement to older adults dealing with fear, especially the fear of aging?

Devotion from August 14 in Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence.

Got any “Ted’s” in your church? How can we do a better job mobilizing them for ministry?