generations
Corrie ten Boom and 50+ Ministry
Recently I finished reading The Hiding Place
While I gained much from the book, two things stick out that are especially applicable to those of us who care about ministry with boomers and beyond.
First, Corrie was in her 50s when she took on the ministry of hiding Jews and working with the underground against Hitler. She was in her 50s when she was suffering in a concentration camp under horrendous conditions. She was in her 50s when she began speaking to groups about her experiences. She was in her 50s when she established a rehabilitation center for those who had suffered in the war and helped bring them to wholeness. And then she continued on for several decades to travel the world, speaking and writing about the love of Christ and the power of forgiveness. In no way was her life on the downward slide once she hit the age of 50. To the contrary, it may be argued that some of her most powerful ministry occurred in the second half of her life.
Second, Corrie’s story reminds us that there is much to be gleaned from hearing the faith stories of those who have gone before us. As I read, she taught me about suffering and caused me to consider how I might apply her Christ-like attitude towards suffering to the difficult circumstances in my own life. I thought about how to grow in loving the Bible and valuing the words written in it as much as she and her sister, Betsie, did. I pondered how I might pay attention and look and see where God’s hand is showing up in my daily life, just as He showed up for them. The reality is the story has lingered with me even though I’ve finished reading it and it is helping to refine my faith. How many stories reside among those 50+ in your church, in your family, in your neighborhood, or in YOU? Not all the stories are happy and easy to hear but when told they can encourage and challenge others in their faith. If we don’t share those stories – if we don’t give people the forum to tell those stories – then something valuable is lost.
“Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain it to you.” Deuteronomy 32:7
What do you do to ensure that faith stories are shared with others?
Crossing the Generational Divide
Each generation has preconceived ideas and attitudes toward other generations. “Those older people just don’t understand.” “Young people today have no respect.” “Older adults are stuck in their ways.” “Young adults are lazy.” And you can add all of you own statements and the ones you’ve heard people say.
The problem is, these attitudes prevent us from really connecting with one another and more importantly, they prevent us from looking beyond the surface and seeing the real person. The hardships. The struggles. The joys. Read more
Helping Empty-Nesters Draw Their Adult Children Back to Christ
In my ministry I often hear about the deep concern older adults have for their adult children. In fact, one of the major concerns facing many empty-nest adults today is that their adult children are no longer following Christ. I can walk into an empty-nesters Sunday school class, a coffee shop where older men are gathered for prayer, or even a nursing home chapel service and nearly guarantee you that someone is very burdened over an adult child who has wandered from the faith. This is a real issue facing millions of adults today and this is why I want to let you know of a valuable resource. Read more
Honoring Older Adults
From owning the latest piece of technology to reading the most recently released novel, American culture promotes a message that new is to be valued. Add to this the fast-paced life that many Americans live and what results is a society that does not have much time or desire to listen to the wisdom and experiences of its elders. That’s one reason why it is so important for churches to find ways to honor older adults and encourage them to tell their stories. Read more
Different Generations and Different Needs means Different Ministries
Last Thursday I wrote about one church’s attempt to recruit people over 50 into the current senior adult ministry. The week after this church listed the qualifications for being a senior, they wrote about various activities and programs of the senior adult ministry. Here are several of them that were listed in the church bulletin: Read more
Two Ways to Create a New Perspective of Aging
My guess is that a number of you have seen this picture before. If you look at it one way you see a beautiful, young woman…if you look at it in a different way you see the face of an old woman. (Hint: The chin of the young woman is the nose of the old woman).
It’s interesting how our view – our perspective – can have such an effect on how we approach something. For many people, aging has been seen as something negative and something to avoid. It is time we work to create a new perspective.
Here are two suggestions of how you can begin to do this in your church.
1. Draw attention to the contribution of older adults.
This woman is in her late 70s and volunteers her time with the tech ministry at her church. She does not fit the unfortunately common stereotype of an older person complaining about the music or powerpoint slides or lights. Rather, she is giving of her time and abilities to serve people in the local church. In fact, she runs the light program! We need to tell her story and the hundreds of other stories of older men and women just like her. Write about them on your church blog. Share their story from the platform on a Sunday morning. Create a video of older adults serving in various capacities. You get the idea. Start doing something to communicate that older adults are valuable and capable of making a difference.
2. Teach about the lives of older adults in Scripture. One of my favorite examples is of Caleb in Joshua chapter 14. After years and years the Israelites are finally coming into the Promised Land. In verse 6 we come upon Caleb who recalls the promise God had made to him 45 years before to give him the land of Hebron and then in verse 10, Caleb says: “…So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country the Lord promised me that day.”
Here is a guy who did not approach aging as something negative, rather he fully embraced this stage of life and all that God had for him. Young people and old people in our churches and communities need to hear these stories, so they know that this can be a reality for them.
What are you doing to help create a new perspective of aging in your ministry context?
Worship and Older Adults (Do you really want to go there?)
You can’t be as immersed in older adult ministry as I am and not be faced from time to time with the worship issue. You know what I’m talking about – contemporary , traditional…loud, soft…etc.
In trying to deal with this issue, many leaders jump to the conclusion that they need to start a more traditional service for their older adults – one where hymns will be sung and the preacher won’t wear jeans. But offering this service may just be a band aid. Before starting a new service or doing a blended service or sending your older adults out the door to find a different church, I believe all leaders need to wrestle with these questions:
1. Are the older adults fully engaged in the mission of the church?
2. Are they an integral part of what is happening in ministry in terms of outreach and service to the community?
3. Is there clear communication that the church wants to grow and reach all age groups of people, or is there a very direct focus on reaching the younger set?
These are the real questions that must be considered and answered in an honest manner. It’s a question of VALUE. Are you starting a traditional or classic service simply to pacify the older folks so that you can go on and do the stuff you really want to do? Or, are you starting a service because you truly want to reach out to unchurched older adults as well as minister in an intentional way to those who are already believers?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
Is it a Generation Gap or Something Else?
Not all 20 year olds like loud music and not all 70 year olds like a pipe organ. There are 40 year olds who prefer to sing hymns and 60 year olds who enjoy Chris Tomlin. Generalizations about the differences among generations are not always useful.
I read an article last week regarding a study conducted by the University of Illinois about how businesses can create better work relationships among employees of different generations. This was a quote from the article that I think has lots of application for those of us leading in churches: “Assumptions based solely on age can lead to some very faulty conclusions and missteps.”
While the article was about businesses, there were a number of transferable principles. For example, one finding in a review of the research was as follows:
Generational factions also can emerge based on when employees start work with a firm, similar to the lifelong bonds formed by soldiers during boot camp or deployments, the study found. Because those factions can include workers of all ages, the study says age-based solutions to unite those workers with colleagues are ill conceived.
This made me pause and consider the timing of when people start attending a certain church. There are those older adults who have been there for 40-plus years, but also those older adults who have come in the past 5 or 10 years along with those younger adults who have come to church in the past 5 or 10 years. Regardless of age the feelings and impressions held by those members who have been there for 40 years may be different than those who have been attending for 5.
The article concludes like this: “It’s human nature that workers interact with their cohorts, seeking out their own,” she said. “Figuring out ways to bring them together will allow companies to tap into all of those knowledge silos and reach full potential.”
Isn’t this exactly what we want to have happen in the church? Check out the entire article and then let me know what you think.
How can we keep from making generalizations that tend to polarize?
Age Specific or Intergenerational Ministries? Why Not Both!
Peggy Horine never dreamed that her willingness to pray for a high school student from her church would one day result in her flying across the country to attend this young girl’s wedding. The relationship between these two women began when Peggy picked up a picture of Sara at a church gathering and called her to express she was praying for her. Peggy recalls, “We bonded instantly. She was so happy to have me in her life and in turn she made me feel like I was truly making a difference.”
There is no question that intergenerational relationships within the Church are valuable and yet so are relationships with our peers. Some churches build their ministries to reach specific age groups while others emphasize the need for all ages to intermingle. Dave McElheran, older adult ministries pastor at Cedar Mills Bible Church in Portland, OR, has found that a balanced ministry includes both. He says, “As people in the same season of life begin to meaningfully connect with one another they are more prepared to engage in relationships that cross generational lines.”
Age-Specific Ministries
Ambassadors is the age-specific ministry for older adults at Cedar Mills. Monthly luncheons, book clubs and prayer groups are just a few of the ways older adults connect with their peers and begin to see the needs of those around them. These ministries give people a sense of identity and belonging.
But Dave says there are some drawbacks to specific age targeted programs. “You can become ingrown and exclusionary. Finding connection with those who are in a similar life stage is a great starting point but it should not be where people stop.”
When Peggy and her husband first started attending the church, they were looking for a place to meet friends and found themselves involved in a Suppers 8 group with other people who were 50-plus in age. This led them to participate in an Ambassadors luncheon where the pictures of high school students were displayed. “This luncheon was the starting point of my relationship with Sara. From that experience, God began to open my eyes to the needs of young people in our society. I’ve now become involved as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for foster children and my husband and I regularly give our time to ministries that support and encourage disadvantaged young people.” Peggy laughs, “Today we do more things with young people then with those our own age.”
Multi-Generational Ministries
According to Dave, for intergenerational relationships to happen the church has to be intentional. One successful event has been an annual miniature golf night in which 2 teenagers are matched with 1 older adult to form a team. Dave says, “We put a lot of care into how we pair the people up as we want to create the best environment we can for on-going relationships to occur.” The night of the event the teams have a meal together and are given various questions to use to get to know each other. 75% of the teams maintain at least an acquaintance relationship and about 25% develop a lasting relationship that continues on and goes deeper.
Intergenerational events provide a great way for breaking down negative stereotypes. High school students find out that older adults are real people and actually like to have fun. In turn, older adults learn that not all young people are irresponsible and reckless.
Dave admits that intergenerational ministry can be hard to do. “Most people are more comfortable with their peers and it takes work to encourage both the young and the old to open their lives to each other. But it’s worth it.” When you hear a story like that of Sara and Peggy, you know it’s worth it.
Investing in Future Generations
In the New Testament era, what Timothy received from his mother and grandmother as recorded by the apostle Paul in II Timothy 1:5, is one of the greatest blessings that can occur through intergenerational relationships. Paul writes, “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” This may be one of the most important goals of intergenerational ministry–to leave a legacy of faith for the next generation. In a society where the retirement years are often seen as a time for ‘self’ – some retirees are turning this idea upside down and investing themselves in the future generation.
Ronnie Green, an adult lay leader at First Baptist Church in West Monroe, LA did not set out to intentionally do something intergenerational, he simply wanted to use the second half of his life in service to God. At the age of 55, Ronnie went on his first mission trip and now nearly 10 years later, he’s been on over 10 trips. His work has taken him to Africa, Alaska, Guatemala, and Mexico-not to mention the various ministries he has been involved with in the states. Ronnie has come in contact with many young people throughout these years of ministry and has had a tremendous impact on their futures.
On a mission trip to Zambia, Africa Ronnie asked an 8 or 9 year old African boy if he could talk to him and his friends about Jesus. At first the boy said ‘no’ but then said, “if you’ll climb up in a tree with us old man then we will listen to you.” Zambia does not have very many older adults and the novelty of this white-haired man seemed to make these young people more open and receptive. Ronnie says with a laugh, “At my age, I wouldn’t climb up a tree for just anybody! But for the chance to share the gospel with these children I was more than willing. I have found that if you just make yourself available to God, then He will take care of all the excuses you have about why you can’t serve Him, even the excuse that you’re too old.”
This was never more evident than when Ronnie was working at a youth retreat in the states and an overweight girl felt like she could not participate in one of the races. “All her life, she had been told that she could not run. I told her, ‘Even though I’m 64, I’ll run this race if you will run it with me. And she did.” God continues to stir in his heart a passion for young people. With a lump in his throat Ronnie recalls a freshman boy asking him a simple question during the last days of a youth camp where Ronnie was a sponsor, “Mr. Ronnie, can we go pray together?” Ronnie says, “We found a quiet place to pray and I will never forget feeling this teenager’s tears fall on my hands as we opened ourselves to God.”
Many churches are discovering the exact thing that Ronnie is experiencing – intergenerational ministry is a rewarding, God-honoring work. And as the generations interact with one another, people are finding ways to fulfill what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 78:4, 5b-7, “…we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done…He commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds but would keep His commands.”
How are you helping older adults invest in future generations?
(This is an excerpt from my Leadership Network Paper, Breaking Down the Age Barriers. You can download the entire paper at leadnet.org).
